Funny Church Signs

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God gave us a sense of humor and a lot of churches are enjoying it with clever and funny church signs.  You drive by a church, glance at the sign, and get a pleasant surprise with a funny, yet relevant thought.  Now that you’re on this site, you don’t have to drive all around town looking for funny church signs, because we have dozens of the best ones right here.  Enjoy!

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Here are dozens of Funny Church Signs!

Here's the first dozen!

  • Acting up in church is like dressing up for an X-ray.
  • Adam and Eve: The first people to read the Apple terms and conditions.
  • Addicted to the Hokey Pokey, so I turned myself around.
  • Always remember that Hell is really un-cool.
  • ATM inside: Atonement, Truth, Mercy
  • Be kind whenever possible. Pro tip – it's always possible.
  • Body piercing saved our souls.
  • Bring your sin to the altar and drop it like it's hot. Drop it like it's hot.
  • Call 911; our pastor is on fire!
  • Can't sleep? Counting sheep? Talk to the Shepherd!
  • Church parking only. Violators will be baptized.
  • Do you spend your time with God's book or Facebook?


The second dozen of funny church signs.

  • Does your spiritual house need spring cleaning?
  • Don't give up! Moses was once a basket case!
  • Don't make me come down there. – God
  • Download your worries and get online with God.
  • Dust on your Bible leads to dirt in your life.
  • Easter comes once a year. How often do you?
  • Eternity is a long time to think about where you went wrong.
  • Eternity is mandatory.  Location is optional.
  • Exercise daily. Walk with the Lord.
  • Feeling warm? This church is prayer-conditioned.
  • Forecast for tomorrow: God reigns and the Son shines.
  • Free Coffee! Yes, membership has its benefits!


The sign in front of the church is like a welcome mat in front of the door.  A funny sign lets you know that, while they take their faith seriously, the congregation doesn't take itself to seriously.


  • Give Satan an inch and he'll become your ruler.
  • God didn't create anything without purpose, but mosquitoes do come close!
  • God is our wireless provider!
  • God loves you whether you like it or not.
  • God recycles. He made you from dust.
  • God wants full custody, not just weekend visits.
  • God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
  • Gossip is the Devil's radio. Are you his DJ?
  • Hate corny church signs? Amen!
  • Hipster Jesus loved you before you were cool.
  • Honk if you love Jesus. Text and drive if you want to meet him.
  • How do we make Holy Water? We boil the Hell out of it!


  • I am also making a list and checking it twice. – God
  • I find your lack of faith disturbing. – Darth Vader
  • I hate this church. – Satan
  • I was going to waste, but Jesus recycled me.
  • If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
  • If God is your copilot, switch seats.
  • If you are more fortunate than others, build a longer table, not a taller fence.
  • If your life stinks, we have a pew for you.
  • If you're praying for a blizzard, please go to Dairy Queen.
  • iPod? iPad? Try iPray! God is listening!
  • Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?
  • Jesus does not save halfway.


  • Jesus is coming... Look busy!
  • Jesus is God's selfie.
  • Jesus said "I'll be back" way before Arnold did.
  • Jesus will love the Hell out of you.
  • Jesus: Your get-out-of-Hell-free card.
  • Keep using my name in vain, and I'll make rush hour longer. – God
  • Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.
  • Life is cray cray. Jesus is the way way.
  • Looking for "Mr. Right"? This is His house!
  • Looking for the perfect gift? Find Him here.
  • Lord, help us be the people our dogs think we are.
  • Maury isn't the only place where people find their Fathers.


  • Need a lifeguard? He walks on water.
  • No body's perfect, but a Jesus workout could help.
  • No SPF needed to spend time with the Son.
  • Our church is like fudge: sweet with a few nuts.
  • Our sign broke. Come inside for the message.
  • Practice thanking God for more than elastic waistbands.
  • Prayer. The original wireless connection.
  • Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible!
  • Prophecy class cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.
  • Read the Bible. It will scare the Hell out of you!
  • Sinners wanted. Apply within.
  • Son screen prevents sin burn.


  • Store the Bible in your heart, not on a shelf.
  • The best vitamin for a believer is B1.
  • The fact that there's a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
  • The manger was the first king-sized bed.
  • The struggle is real but so is God.
  • They may party in Hell, but you will be the barbecue.
  • This heat wave is temporary. You certainly don't want to face an eternal one!
  • This is your sign to come to church.
  • Thou shalt not steal copper from our A/C unit.
  • Tithe if you love Jesus. Anyone can honk.
  • Trust in God, but lock your car.
  • Tweet others as you would like to be tweeted.


  • Under the same management for more than 2,000 years.
  • Visitors welcomed. Members expected.
  • Walmart is not the only place for savings.
  • We are not Dairy Queen, but we do have great Sundays!
  • We have a prophet-sharing plan.
  • What could this sign say to get you here on Sunday?
  • What did Adam say to Eve? I'll wear the plants in this family.
  • What happens in Vegas is forgiven here.
  • What is missing from ch__ch? U R!
  • What section would you prefer in the afterlife? Smoking or non-smoking?
  • When gratitude becomes your default setting, life changes.
  • When you throw mud, you lose ground.


  • Wrinkled with problems? Come to the Lord's House for a faith lift.
  • You have one new friend request from: Jesus.
  • You wanted a sign? Here it is!
  • Your name may be on a bottle of Coke, but is it in the Book of Life?

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Do you have a funny church sign that should be included on this site?  Is there a family-friendly category of jokes you'd like to see added?  Have funny quotes or sayings to pass along?  We'd love to hear from you!

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